Formerly: i see what you did there.

I'm Alisa. I'm 20. I'm currently studying at McGill University in Montreal, Canada. I like to take pictures and I'm majoring in Cognitive Science. I'm looking for inspiration and happiness.

Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/
I’m so fucking tired of being alone day in and day out. Don’t get me wrong, I love my alone time. I love being content by myself, but sometimes it’s too much. I hate not having a best friend anymore. I hate not having anyone to talk to. I hate the fact that sometimes I’m just running away from the loneliness. I need human contact. I haven’t physically seen a friend in over a week. I haven’t had a hug or any touch in god knows how long. 
This past year has been the loneliest year of my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last 6 months. I’ve grown to love myself and I have begun to fight for my life. I know my strength now. For this I have sacrificed the ability to create true friendships. I do not have someone who I can call up and just talk to, someone who will just come over and hang out with me for no reason. Further, someone who will do the same for me. I have tried again and again to have good friendships, but I fail again and again. When will I meet someone who is a compatible friend? When will someone let me in their life and allow me to be a good friend? I just need someone that won’t want to sleep with me, and I won’t be tempted by them either. I need someone that sees me for what I am and enjoys it. I just want to be complete. I want to have fun. I want to feel relief. I want to feel the joy of sharing my life with others…
I have so much to give, and no one to give to. I’ve always been a giver. I’m afraid it has led me astray. I’ve been walked over, used, ignored, and taken advantage of. I guess I’ve let them because I can only allow myself to see the good in people. I believe that we all have to power inside ourselves to be good, we just need a guiding light. I believe we all deserve kindness. I don’t want to be wrong. I don’t want to be a cynic. I don’t want to hate people. I’m slowly becoming more and more disillusioned with the people of this world. Yet I refuse to accept that this is the fate of the world. Something needs to change. I’m going to change the world. I must. There is too much pain in the world if I can give all the kindness in my heart, and it does not even begin to make things better. Most people just take; they are only focused on themselves. Everyone seems to have forgotten how to take 5 minutes to look around them. 
I miss the true friendships of my childhood. When any ridiculous idea was celebrated, and every terrible thing that happened was something that we could move past. That, was true, unconditional, love.
What happened?

I’m so fucking tired of being alone day in and day out. Don’t get me wrong, I love my alone time. I love being content by myself, but sometimes it’s too much. I hate not having a best friend anymore. I hate not having anyone to talk to. I hate the fact that sometimes I’m just running away from the loneliness. I need human contact. I haven’t physically seen a friend in over a week. I haven’t had a hug or any touch in god knows how long.

This past year has been the loneliest year of my life. I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last 6 months. I’ve grown to love myself and I have begun to fight for my life. I know my strength now. For this I have sacrificed the ability to create true friendships. I do not have someone who I can call up and just talk to, someone who will just come over and hang out with me for no reason. Further, someone who will do the same for me. I have tried again and again to have good friendships, but I fail again and again. When will I meet someone who is a compatible friend? When will someone let me in their life and allow me to be a good friend? I just need someone that won’t want to sleep with me, and I won’t be tempted by them either. I need someone that sees me for what I am and enjoys it. I just want to be complete. I want to have fun. I want to feel relief. I want to feel the joy of sharing my life with others…

I have so much to give, and no one to give to. I’ve always been a giver. I’m afraid it has led me astray. I’ve been walked over, used, ignored, and taken advantage of. I guess I’ve let them because I can only allow myself to see the good in people. I believe that we all have to power inside ourselves to be good, we just need a guiding light. I believe we all deserve kindness. I don’t want to be wrong. I don’t want to be a cynic. I don’t want to hate people. I’m slowly becoming more and more disillusioned with the people of this world. Yet I refuse to accept that this is the fate of the world. Something needs to change. I’m going to change the world. I must. There is too much pain in the world if I can give all the kindness in my heart, and it does not even begin to make things better. Most people just take; they are only focused on themselves. Everyone seems to have forgotten how to take 5 minutes to look around them.

I miss the true friendships of my childhood. When any ridiculous idea was celebrated, and every terrible thing that happened was something that we could move past. That, was true, unconditional, love.

What happened?

I feel like death. How the fuck did I manage to get the plague. Will someone please come over and make me food? I feel like I’m going to faint every time I move my head, so cooking is not very safe. Also, will someone please tell me what I’ve done to deserve such misery? Have I hurt someone? I’ve talked to maybe 10 people in the past two weeks…

I feel like death. How the fuck did I manage to get the plague. Will someone please come over and make me food? I feel like I’m going to faint every time I move my head, so cooking is not very safe. Also, will someone please tell me what I’ve done to deserve such misery? Have I hurt someone? I’ve talked to maybe 10 people in the past two weeks…